Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Most Imporantly

The first day of school, B came home with a sheet of paper meant for me to write his likes/dislikes, strengths/weaknesses. I filled out both sides, just with general information, but I felt something was missing. Something that really got down to the nitty-gritty of what I wanted his teacher to know. School has never been easy, for either kid. We've had more than our fair share of struggles. I really just wanted to get a certain point across. More than "B likes dinosaurs and talking".

So, after filling out both sides of the initial sheet (which, btw, was really only meant to be filled out on one side), I took out a piece of notebook paper and added page three.

 Most importantly,  I never want B to feel that something is “wrong” with him. I think sometimes therapy, and constant redirection, can make our special children feel they are not good enough. It's a fine line between helping them cope and be successful, and making them feel they need to change everything about themselves. 

B has Aspergers. He will always have Aspergers. I want him to feel proud, and not that he is less of a person because of any diagnosis. I want him to find a place of happiness and contentment in life. I never want him to feel he needs to change who is to be "normal". 

Of course, there are behaviors he needs to learn to mitigate better, but I don't want him thinking his struggles make him a bad kid. Maybe if we focus on his strengths, the self-confidence he builds will help temper the "weaknesses". 

I'm sure you didn't expect parents to take up several pages talking about their child. I just really need you to know that B is a great kid. No, I don't think my child hung the moon, but I also don't think he is in any way damaged. I think he has incredible strengths that can be overlooked because of a meltdown, or social issue, and those "weaknesses" shouldn't be the focus.

As you can tell, I am passionate about this. No one is perfect, and we all continue to work on ourselves. I just never want B to feel bad because of his neurology. I've been through it with my daughter, and want to keep B from ever feeling that way.

I've heard from other parents that you are the perfect teacher for B, and I'm excited about this year. Thanks for taking the time to read everything I wrote. I appreciate it more than you know. 

So, that's it. I truly hope she takes everything I wrote to heart, and doesn't view me as some whacked out parent. Honestly, I haven't yet moved away from last year (which, if you don't know, did not go well for either kid), but I am also not going in thinking this year will be the same. I can't. I have to hold onto hope that things will be different. That we've all learned from the past, and want to makes things better. Some might call me naive, but I'm not ready to give up. Maybe this year will be the year things go smoothly, and everyone works together for the good of both my children. I have to hold on to that possibility, because the alternative...well, I can't think about that only a few days in.


  1. Jen you made me cry. Thats beautiful.

    1. Ha, when I saw your tweet I was like, crap, what did I do?? I just hope his teacher appreciates it, and, you know, it doesn't end up being used for dart that photo of me I'm sure they have ;)

  2. Nicely done, fellow Autism mom! I too hope this year goes better for your kiddos.

  3. I think you have moved away from last year. You may still have wounds from it but you've also come a long way. Give yourself a lot of credit. Wishing B and K a great year! xoxoxox